Five times the movies gave us unrealistic hopes for real life
So in case you didn’t get the memo, things have got pretty Moana happy round here. It’s scary really: if I had a passion for sailing, royal heritage and lived on an island we would practically be the same person. But while Moana has undoubtedly inspired me to go out in search of my ocean (the cheesiness stops soon I promise), I can’t help but wonder if the movies aren’t doing us a bit of a disservice at times.
How many of us have finished a film with a romantic tear rolling down our cheeks, lustfully wondering why we never meet the dream guy, land the dream job or get the big break? Alas, the answer hits us like a shovel to the forehead: the people we’re comparing ourselves to aren’t real.
Here’s just a few ways that the movies have failed abysmally to represent life as we know it.
Oops, silly me, in a completely unexpected turn of events I’ve been seduced and forgotten my nightie. I’ll just borrow one of my man’s pristine white work shirts and slink around the house like a pixie.
Pack for weekend away in a rush and forget PJs. Plan to borrow one of Bae’s t-shirts, only to discover that it’s practically a slim fit on me and I’d have more dignity going without.
When you mess up. Big time.
I’ve done something totally unforgivable – nothing for it but to organise a flash mob (Yep I’m looking at you Justin Timberlake) and wait for my doormat of a lover to fall back into my arms.
I’ve done something totally unforgivable. This is the end of the relationship.
Getting what you want
Everyone knows that in movies you don’t get what you want straight away. Luckily, you are pretty much guaranteed to get it the second time you try. The girl? The quest? The glory? If at first you don’t succeed, try one more time and you’ll be golden.
If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, and try again and again and again and again and again and then maybe if you know the right people you will be one teeny step further towards a mountainous goal. Maybe.
So I have this super cute pooch that barks in agreement/growls suspiciously at appropriate points in my life narrative. He does not seem to need walking or feeding.
My dog runs round and round in circles while I try to have a relaxing conversation with my friends then immediately gets lost in the foliage when I try to walk it. It eats ALL THE BLOODY TIME.
Whatever the mood, there’s a banging soundtrack to boot. Life is one hazy, kooky video montage.