I asked guys what they look for in a woman and the results are... interesting.
Man: Myth, legend, all round difficult to read. As someone who went to a girls’ school and was consequently sans male friends for the entirety of my formative years, I find myself frequently stumped by the opposite sex.
What do they think? What do they feel? And, most pertinently, what do they want from me? (Even now, I struggle to tell the difference between love, friendship and contempt when directed my way – maybe a combo?)
Despite my Grandma’s frequent reassurances that ‘we’re a very good looking family’ (thanks Nan), I’ve been piecing together what I think might be the typical guy’s ‘type’ through multiple series of Love Island, and the result is somewhat more proportioned and brunette than what I am currently offering.
So there I was, eating my sorrows (which tasted suspiciously like peanut butter straight from the jar), when I hit upon a slight hitch in my pigeon-holing: as much as my head remained partially convinced that all men are after the elusive Kardashian-esque female, the idea of any of the guys I actually know next to such a figure is somewhat ridiculous.
A few points to note here. Number one, model good looks didn’t feature in any of the top threes encountered (of which there were at least, ahem, seven). Number two, pretty much everyone valued someone with a sense of humour, so I’m clearly sorted. Three, if guys are going to be so contrary as to state getting up early as one of their three guiding principles in choosing women, it’s probably best to just try and please yourself.
The takeaway? Guys aren’t as superficial as Love Island would have you believe.
You probably already knew that, but sometimes you just need a well-meaning pie chart to prove it.