I read Past Bedtime



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How to achieve the relaxation level of Buddha himself in 24 hours or less

Life. Frenetic, huh? I feel you.

It can be hard to relax when the guy you fancy hasn’t messaged back, you’ve cheated on your diet for the fifth day running and you can’t remember the last time you had a holiday from your soul-crushing day job.

Contrary to popular opinion, when it comes to hitting deep relaxation mode, speed is very much of the essence (why waste any more time than you have to being super stressed out?).

Here I present to you the quick-fix cheater’s way to hit the relaxation level of Buddha himself in 24 hours or less.


Early Morning:

Sleep in

If we were meant to get up early, the Lord would have made us birds. One of the fastest ways to recover your senses and calm the heck down during a stressful period is to give yourself more time to rest.

Turn off the alarm, pull the curtains shut and reacquaint yourself with everyone’s favourite letter of the alphabet: Z.


Mid-morning: Stretch

Feeling better? Now if I were a sadist, I might be suggesting this would be a good time to go for a rejuvenating jog. But, here at ireadpastbedtime.com, we like our readers, so I offer you an equally effective alternative: yoga.

Yoga twists are known for their detoxing powers, so treat yourself to this free class with the lovely Erin Motz and wring those bad vibes right out of your system.


Late morning: Drink this tea

And enjoy a breakfast of your choice. Bananas are meant to be good for hangovers, but hey, if eating a pain au chocolat or five is going to relax you, you eat your heart out, sweetie.

Counterbalance any indulgences with Helmsley and Helmsley’s ‘pep up’ tea. Seriously, I drink this stuff every morning and I swear by it’s medicinal juju.

The girls will tell you to grate the ginger and brew in a teapot – I can confirm that simply cutting a hunk of ginger off the knob in the cupboard and making the tea in a mug has similar, more homely effects. 


Lunch: Consider Avocado

Some form of vegetable consumption can’t hurt at this point in the day.

There’s something about cooking that’s good for the soul, and although throwing a few handfuls of iceberg into a bowl might not cut the mustard, making this ridiculously complex but rather delicious-looking salad might just about do.


Early afternoon: Whatever you like, as long as you stay hydrated

There’s no point in me telling you to take a long hot bath with candles (seriously why is fire apparently so relaxing) if you can’t stand the idea.

Recovery is whatever brings you back to feeling like you. Whether that’s calling a friend, journaling or watching TOWIE - indulge.


Late afternoon: Tech-tox while you detox

As much as I am a BIG fan of tech (did I mention I blog?), a tech-tox can be one of the quickest and most effective ways to de-stress.

Why? Because you’re not semi-listening out for your phone to buzz, or scrolling mindlessly down your insta feed, stopping to sigh whenever you see someone from your old school who’s doing life better than you.

Take the detox to the next level by multitasking with a face mask. This little beauty from Boots is an absolute steal at £1.50 and to be honest is as good as any I’ve tried if you leave out the facial of a lifetime I once had at Center Parcs.

Hunker down with a good book while it gets to work.


Early Evening: Make dhal


2 servings of turmeric in one day, are you mad? I hear you say. In my mind, there is nothing more relaxing than watching a bubbling pot of lentils slowly double in size as the smell of cumin wafts through the kitchen.

Dahl is packed full of goodness and is THE heartiest food to enjoy when you need a little TLC. 

This recipe from Jamie Oliver is a good place to start.


Mid evening: Snooze

Treat yourself to a ludicrously indulgent early night. We’re talking under the duvet at 9.30pm, lights out at 10. The relaxation formula will last significantly longer if you give yourself time to let everything sink in (yes, I am just talking bollocks now, glad you noticed).

Wake up to the sweet sweet feeling of relaxation deeper than that achieved by Buddha himself.

Got a tip I've missed? Comment below and share the love with other readers.  

See you in Nirvana.

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